He transformed from a car transporter into an Autobot with a HUGE missile launcher on his arm. He combined to with Optimus Prime to form he quite ridiculous looking 'Omega Prime'; he was the coolest thing I had ever seen and I believe I wrote a dozen letters to Santa Claus (some detailing multiple stores from which he was available) begging for his presence in my stocking. Needless to say, I have sympathetic parents, so 'Ultra' was there come Christmas morning. Unfortunately, the very same day, Santa also delivered up to my sister the Fisher Price Little Tike Kitchen. It was entirely rendered in red & yellow plastic, it had an oven with a light-bulb, a two 'rings', a fridge & an array of plastic food (I now wonder if this was preparation for modern processed food). I was immediately smitten; out of politeness (and the fact that my sister hit me with a spatula any time I got near it) I left the kitchen set alone. I played with Ultra Magnus, smashing him into other Transformers, Decepticon & Autobot alike. I tried to turn him back into a transporter & failed (it is a universal truth that almost no Transformer toy is ever played with as a robot or a car, its just to much effort when you could be smashing it into something, so they exist in a constant 'phase' state, something the recent Michael Bay moves captured quite well), but it was clear to everyone that my heart wasn't really in it. My heart now belonged to that Little Tike Kitchen. For the first time in my life I had gotten exactly what I wanted, then immediately discovered something I wanted more.
What, you may entirely reasonably ask, has this got to do with greenhouses? Well, I never did get my own Little Tike Kitchen (I did ask, on both my birthday & the following Christmas), but Sarah eventually stopped hitting me with a spatula so I played with it a lot and my love affair had begun in earnest. Over the years I have lusted after many pieces of kitchen paraphernalia & mainly I've managed to acquire them, but one thing had always eluded me, a vegetable patch. My dad has always grown veg, starting with potatoes behind the garage & now culminating in four immaculate raised beds biggerthan my first flat.
I didn't crave anything so grand, but when I we moved to our beautiful cottage almost 3 years ago I was agog at the space I had to craft the veg plot of my dreams. We sectioned it for all our favourites; potatoes, onions, carrots, purple
sprouting broccoli, French beans and a couple of others just for fun. It backed onto our chicken run & was bordered down one side by established apple trees we had inherited. To call it perfect would do it an injustice... then my dad got a greenhouse.
It was Christmas morning 1987 all over again. My veg patch was beautiful, contained everything I ever wanted to pull out of the ground & say 'I did that!' and of a sudden it was a second class citizen in my heart. My father had, in fairness, acquired the Rolls Royce of greenhouses an 8x6 Rhino Premier. He was producing tomatoes in what seemed like seconds, chillies that exploded in your mouth, salads in November... growing corn, corn in Scotland for God sake! Fortunately, I'm not six anymore, my only income is no longer £1 a week pocket money. This time the Little Tike kitchen would be mine, so to speak.
Enquires were made, a 12x10 greenhouse was found second hand; get in! My Dad's might be fancier, but mine was bigger (which is a sentence you want to use carefully). Despite it complexities, I must say that dismantling it, then reassembling it back at the cottage was one of the most enjoyable couple of days of the year. It was like being let loose on the biggest Meccano set you'd ever seen with the added tension of handling really very thin glass which might explode at any moment.
I discuss all this because I have recently had to replant my greenhouse following a minor weed-killer/fertiliser mix-up. I have in the last month had the sheer audacity to replant herbs, salad leaves, peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, aubergines & courgettes in August, in Scotland. At a time when my veg patch is winding to a conclusion, giving up it's last as autumn closes in, the greenhouse is bursting forth with new life. Thanks to a paraffin heater, I'm tolerably confident that I'll get rocket & lettuce all through the winter.
In short, my modern day Little Tike Kitchen is everything I dreamed it would be and more. I still enjoy my veg patch, much as I enjoyed good ol' Ultra Magnus, but there is only one place I run to in the morning to see what has happened overnight!
